There was an incident

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On the Oscars

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Now I’m real happy for Christoph Waltz in winning the “Best Supporting Actor” Oscar. He was a Finest Kind Actor and he deserves more awards than will fit in a thieving yankee’s carpet bag. But he did not deserve the “Best Supporting Actor” Oscar. He deserved the “Best Actor” Oscar! I mean really. Why the Gosh was Brad Pitt even named the lead man of that film? He didn’t even ACT!!! He just affected an accent for 3 hours! I mean, really, for a film called “Inglourious Basterds” You would THINK that the film might actually be about, I don’t know THE BASTERDS??? If the title actually described the film, it would be called “Germans Talking for Two and A Half Hours.”

I mean, you start off the film with these eight Jewish dudes who are going to go scalp some “Nat-zees” or what have you, right? Tarantino specifically decided the narrative needed eight dudes. IF ANYONE CAN NAME THESE EIGHT SUPPOSEDLY MAIN CHARACTERS, I WILL EAT MY LOWER LIP AND GIVE YOU A MILLION DOLLARS. The only one who gets any sort of background material is some Prussian dude called “Hugo Stiglitz”. He wasn’t even one of the main Jewish dudes! And, by the end of the film, only Brad Pitt and three other dudes are even alive, or important. Why not just have Brad Pitt and the three important guys? Oh, that’s right, because then we couldn’t get red mist when the others all randomly get killed.

And The only one who did any acting in this film was Christoph Waltz! I mean, he could’ve just been Nazi number one, but he made the character really amazing and exciting. From his very first scene, the audience knows this dude has got some hidden depths, and could probably kill them all and they wouldn’t mind very much. The character is working so many angles, you really believe that he could’ve been a *Spoiler* double agent the whole time after he kills Hitler. So you have this character who goes from being “The Jew Hunter” to “Hitler’s Killer”, and he’s doing some cool stuff along the way. *End Spoiler*

Meanwhile, what is Brad Pitt doing this whole time? He starts off the film beating in the heads of unarmed prisoners of war, and he ends the film stabbing a swastika into the forehead of… an unarmed prisoner of war. Anyways, congratulations to Mr. Waltz again, and I hope he has a long and successful film career, and he never has to settle for walk on roles on German television again!

Oh, and congratulations to Sandra Bullock, for the Best Actress award for her role as “A Decent Human Being”! I know that can be a stretch for Hollywood Actresses, and she pulled it off with aplomb. Congrats!

Written by therewasanincident

March 30, 2010 at 7:54 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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